Crishuana & Co.

Tag: yoga

  • getta hold of yourself: CBT x 2 Cor 10.5

    getta hold of yourself: CBT x 2 Cor 10.5

    I started this post earlier in the month, thinking that I finally had a quick word to share. (It’s been a while since I wrote.) I had an amazing breakthrough at Sunday service and I was eager to sort it out on here. Ironically, as I started to compose this post about anxiety, I became anxious. This happens to many of us, so when I happen to mention this irony to a close friend, I was comforted to know that he was working through something similar. I felt even more strongly that this post was worth finishing. So many thanks to him for helping me overcome. Though this short anecdote is my intro but also the exact process I want to illuminate. Meta, right?

    Identify the truth.

    Find accountability.

    Do the thing – even if it hurts.

    My pastor has been helping me with the spiritual work I started in therapy two years ago. (James 5:16) Primarily, we are getting to the root of my struggle with rejection. Coming out of a long battle with depression and anxiety, I took much solace in the fact that Jesus suffered and comforted the suffering. I fell in love with passion and fervor of John the Baptist and the Apostle Paul, who saw the mission to spread the gospel greater than anything in this temporal life, including their lives. Count it all joy, I concluded. I looked to many early saints and Martin Luther (only recently, a saint) as examples of how a true and fully-devoted christian life should be.

    Early when I started attending a church, I wanted God to love me and I wanted to show Him that I was grateful that he saved me. I felt that I was dirty and unworthy as a sinner before God. (Rom 5:6-8) I believed God was  too sacred to like who I expressed myself to be. I started to believe that who God created and developed me to be was “not right.” So, I began to stop doing many things I enjoyed. But, I held on to the belief others could never understand me and would never truly accept how I thought and expressed myself.

    Coming out of a belief system which valued asceticism*, I looked for any biblical justification of my former practices of severe self-discipline and abstention. Dying to all sense of self and deflecting any attention given to me is rightfully my goal as a Christ follower. (John 6:38) I was deceived in thinking that I was serving the Lord in my suffering, but really a spirit of self-mutilation had just followed me in sheep’s clothing (Matt 7:15).

    One major false belief: Because I was working hard to change my mindset on worldly values and perspectives. (Eph 4:17-24)  But, because I was led by my flesh and not God’s Spirit and His love for me, it also created a cognitive dissonance (Rom 7:18). I began to believe that because what I enjoyed at that time was worldly and not spiritual, that enjoyment itself was worldly. (1 Cor 11:3,4)  No one preached this to me, but somehow, I interpreted every scripture to support it. (Luke 17:10) I was blinded to see how this was a form of pride. (Rom 8:7) I believed that Jesus’ sacrifice was not good enough. (John 3:16-19, Romans 5) I believed I was so unworthy of God’s restoration and salvation, that God needed my sacrifices, too.

    But, we are to be Holy Spirit led so that all that we own and all that we do give honor and glory to the One who deserves it: God, our awesome Father -the creator of the whole universe! (John 16:13-15) Now, a year later God is bringing me around to lose me of that harmful spiritual pattern and be free to be truly selfless and balanced. I am changing my thinking – renewing my mind (Rom 12:2) and bringing those thoughts under subjection (2 Cor 10:5)! Having just finished Joyce Meyer’s Battlefield of the Mind [WorldCat], which I believe is a seminal text in any study on cultivating the Mind of Christ, I am now working on re-calibrating the cognitive distortions. According to cognitive behavioral therapy, these distortions are commonly presented when our perception becomes unbalanced.

    So, I am sharing them with you. Here’s 5 ways to get a hold of yourself:

    1. 15-Cognitive-distortionsJournaling: “gathering data” about our moods and our thoughts. This journal can include the time of the mood or thought, the source of it, the extent or intensity, and how we responded to it, among other factors. I personally love gratitude journaling, which I mentioned in an earlier post is something I learned from Oprah’s What I Know for Sure. [WorldCat]
    2. Imagine the worst case scenario: Letting this scenario play out can help the individual to recognize that even if everything they fear comes to pass, it will likely turn out okay.
    3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) & Relaxed Breathing: relax one muscle group at a time until your whole body is in a state of relaxation. You can use audio guidance, a YouTube video, or simply your own mind to practice this technique, and it can be especially helpful for calming nerves and soothing a busy and unfocused mind.
    4. Exposure and Response Prevention: This technique is a little challenging and likely to require some very good self-care as a reward, but it is very effective for those who suffer from (OCD), panic and anxiety. Essentially, it calls us to face our fears carefully and in a controlled manner in order to investigate the bodily sensations, unhelpful beliefs, or compulsive behaviors. The practice is to get better and better at doing our best to refrain from the habitual behavior we have associated with the triggers and maintain the sensations without distraction or avoidance. With practice we are able to allow new learning about the sensations that come from our triggers to take place. We often find that the symptoms of our panic are more so uncomfortable than dangerous. I like to pair this technique with gratitude journaling and ice cream or yin yoga! (This 8-min practice is from fellow AYC graduate, Carrie Schuler)
    5. Last but, not least – Unravel & Restructure: Recognize and challenging harmful automatic thoughts generally categorized by the 15 “Cognitive Distortions” identified by psychologists. This helpful info-graphic is from Positive Psychology Program.  The goal is to learn how a certain destructive or harmful belief took root and why you came to believe it. Then, you can begin to challenge it. As I discovered on the phone with my friend:

    Identify the truth.
    Find accountability.
    Do the thing – even if it hurts.

    Finally, I leave you with these 3 scriptures for any struggling to receive the Mind of Christ. Be gentle with yourself. It’s a life’s journey. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

    #1 The Spirit of the LORD will rest on Him–the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and strength, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD. Isaiah 11:2
    #2 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled; do not be afraid. John 14:27
    #3 For the Spirit that God has given us does not make us fearful; instead, his Spirit fills us with power, love, and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

    *a footnote:
    “The adjective “ascetic” derives from the ancient Greek term askēsis, which means “training” or “exercise”. The original usage did not refer to self-denial, but to the physical training required for athletic events. Its usage later extended to rigorous practices used in many major religious traditions, in varying degrees, to attain redemption and higher spirituality.”
    (Clarke, P. A. B., & Linzey, A. (1997). Dictionary of ethics, theology, and society. London: Routledge. WorldCat.)

     

  • on freedom x forgiveness

    on freedom x forgiveness

    Biblical Principles of forgiveness

    in three parts

    A Selection from UTENZI WA ADILI
    by Swahili poet Shaaban Robert:

    “For the benefit of his son, original form is made up of 100 verses.

    Ni tone samahani,
    La asali moyoni,
    Hutia furahani,
    Mpewas na atoaye.

    Forgivness is a drop
    Of honey in the heart,
    Happiness it brings
    To the bestower and the bestowed alike.”

    Sometimes, I forget my original purpose, the thrust of my complete devotion to the Christian walk: liberation.

    More than a future foot tattoo, but a full and complete way of being:

    to be liberated.

    Overcoming the generational bondage of my family,
    my ancestors,
    and my People,

    I am compelled to walk with my Jesus.

    I walk,
    knowing that this life I have been given is not my own,
    but a testament to the liberating power of the Almighty.

    Everyday my prayer is that my life be an example,
    “a living epistle”
    of overcoming all earthly, carnal, material shackles
    to live free.
     (more…)

  • eating meat: reflections on a plant-based lifestyle

    eating meat: reflections on a plant-based lifestyle

    IMG_6279.jpgFor 6.5 years of my life, since Februrary 2012, I have dedicated myself to a primarily plant-based lifestyle. My former partner was a student of Western medicene who swore by the full Hippocratic oath: “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food,” while my best friend growing up was spiritually vegetarian in her household. I have never really eaten all that “normally.” At home, my mother loved to cook (and eat) and my father is West African. Growing up working class, my parents cooked more than we ate out, fast food included. For a few years now, I’ve been hanging out with the yogis and the “conscious” folks of the country, reading Chef Ahki, Terry Bryant and Solla Eiríksdóttir. I’ve made my way through Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life a couple times.

    Now I am eating meat. It’s been a few months now. Walmart steaks and McDonald’s dollar cheeseburgers, buffalo chicken wings from my favorite sports bars, but most importantly, I am eating my father’s cooking: Beef stews over rice almost daily. I am eating love in food form and nothing is more delicious. And nothing is more spiritual. Since cooking with my former partner for hours, cutting up vegetables from our garden together, looking up infinite recipies on the internet, watching food documentaries over wine, and buying too many vegetarian cookbooks, I have exprienced how food is love. “Feeding another person is an act of love,” I once wrote to myself in a journal.

    Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.”

    (Genesis 1:29 – NIV)

    When I finally separated with my partner in Nashville, my brother moved out with me. He was still getting on his feet and so was I. We had very little to spend on the fancy ingedients that I loved and I attempted a very lame garden in my apartment. With none of the extra kitchen tools I liked to have, we made do. But community is so powerful. My Puerto Rican neighbors upstairs taught me to make some bomb beans and rice. Tortillas don’t cost much and they literally go with everything, incuding peanut butter and jelly. Soon my brother started prepping at one of the best barbecue joints in the city and free food was a perk. He would bring home brisket and sweet smoked wings that smelled so good. But, I was vegetarian.

    But, I could see the pride he had in providing for our little house situation and I was running out of interesting ideas, so I starting eating the food he brought home. It was so good. And I was so proud of him with every bite. He was feeding me love. I learned that lesson just in time to move home. My father’s stands at the stove, watching the news on his little kitchen tv and cutting up onions, slicing fat off of chicken brests and sizzling oil in the pot with such joy. Any hour of the evening, he could be found doing this. It is a release for him after long days at work. It unique opportunity watch him cook away his stress. He cooks love right into his food. He cooks peace into it, and you can taste it. He cooks for 14 people, always. Even before I started staying here, my mtoher told me he would cook this way for just the two of them. When I ask him why he cooks so much, he tells me so that all of his children can come and eat dinner anytime. My sister, brothers and I are more than happy to oblige his request. It makes him happy to see us enjoying the meals he prepares. They are never vegetarian. But, that is okay. beef stew with love is much better for the soul and the environment than a politically bitter kale salad any day.

    My dad told me that growing up in Dakar, his father would always invite anyone who was around in the neighborhood to come and eat. His father told him that this was a blessing for his children so that they would always have food whereever they are. My dad tells me that of his 65 years of life, he has always had food where ever he is. Now, me too. I have never been hungry anywhere I have gone because of my dad’s generational blessings. When I was in Nashville, I learned to grow my own food and built community around organic community gardens across the city. When I lived on my own, my brother brought me food and my patrons cooked for me often from their gardens. And as a gardener who practices a mainly plant diet, I can have food anywhere I choose to go, too. I am not sure how much longer I will be consuming meat, but I know I will forever be eating love.
    Praise Jah for his blessings through all living things.

    If it’s your jam: find out more on the Western Yogi interpretation of Patanjali’s “Yogic Diet,” in Dayna Macy’s 2008 article for Yoga International, “Eat Like a Yogi: A Yoga Diet Based in Ayurvedic Prinicples.”
    Until then,

    May you cook with love,
    eat with love
    and always be in love,
    -C